


Finding Friends in Cold Places

by EdiePhoenix (orphan_account), orphan_account



Series: Lucky in Wakanda [1]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Epic Bromance, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Infinity War-fix it, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Torture, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Loki, Stucky - Freeform, loki lives, men being idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 01:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18906712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/EdiePhoenix, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Never would Loki have thought he would make a friend in his lifetime, yet alone a mortal. But after being bored at his temporary home in Wakanda and waking up Bucky from cryo sleep, he and the former Winter Soldier bond over nightmares, past pain and the feelings they both hide for those they love in secret.





	Finding Friends in Cold Places

**Author's Note:**

> We wanted to collaborate on a fic for a long time, with many ideas coming and going, until this somehow happened. This is a fic about Bucky and Loki finding friendship when they didn’t expect it, with someone who understands their past and demons, and also their pining for their respective love interests. While Stucky is happening and Thorki is implied in this fic, they are not the main pairing - that is Bucky & Loki in a completely platonic way. We are already planning a second fic that will continue telling the story of this friendship and with a continuation of these relationships.
> 
> This fic starts at the beginning of Infinity War with little changes. Thor has received Stormbreaker accompanied by the complete Guardians of the Galaxy. Loki never gave Thanos the Tesseract, but was still killed. Bucky is still in cryo sleep, no cure for his programming has yet been found.

 

 

 

 

His reflection still felt like that of a stranger to him. The short hair, the different colored eyes, the new wrinkles and the expression full of grief. He did not feel like himself anymore, like a stranger not only on the outside, but also inside. The emptiness was almost unbearable.

He had said the truth when he told the Guardians that he thought his brother was this time maybe gone for good, and he despised that thought. Oh, how many times Loki had tricked them, had them grief and mourn for him only to play another game with them and reappear. He had woven one of Loki’s dark locks into his hair as tribute to his late brother, to have him close even in death. But that hair was gone now, just as Loki was.

Everything had changed. He was alone. Valkyrie and Heimdall had contacted the Guardians and they agreed to meet on Midgard where Thor knew he would find allies who could help him figure out what to do now. No advisors. No family. Only his friends were left. He had gotten to like Rabbit and Tree, also the Lady Gamora and her sister Lady Nebula, as well as the charming Mantis and the warrior Drax had become friends in such a short time. He was not yet sure about whether he liked Quail or not, or the captain him. And he did not care.

A piece of debris floated past the window he was looking out of and Thor gasped.

“STOP THE ENGINES!” he yelled.

“What are you talking about?” Quail asked from the front.

“STOP!”

Rabbit pulled a lever and the ship came to a stop. Thor put his hands on the window and leaned forward, trying to make something out, find something, someone.

“THERE! GET HIM INSIDE! NORNS, GET HIM INSIDE!” he barked orders.

“Hell, Thor, you surely have a lovely singing voice. But would you mind not yelling like that? You’re giving me a headache,” Rabbit meant.

“I am Groot,” said Tree.

“Now, what are you talking about, Thor?”

Quail had gotten up and stood right next to Thor, narrowing his eyes and trying to figure out what Thor was staring at.

“There!” Quail said suddenly. “I see it!”

“It’s not an It. It’s a He,” Drax said, standing suddenly next to them.

“He’s dead. Don’t bother.”

“He is my brother. He deserves to be buried like a hero. He gave his life for me. Again.”

Mantis put a hand on Thor’s shoulder, feeling his sadness.

Drax nodded.

“An honorable warrior deserves to be buried like one.”

Quail sighed.

“Ok, ok. Let’s get him inside. But if he stinks already, we put him into your bunk.”

Thor glared at him, but followed without a word to the airlock, where Nebula already had stepped into a suit that would allow her to go outside and retrieve Loki’s corpse.

 

 

Loki was laid out in a back part of the ship, on a steel table that was cold. Thor put a blanket over Loki, thinking that his brother must be freezing, and a tear ran down his cheek when he remembered that Loki never again would feel too cold or too hot. That he would never feel anything again. That he was gone like everybody else.

“It was just you and me,” Thor whispered, sitting down next to Loki’s body, holding his dead brother’s hand and lowering his eyes. “I wish you had let me go. Shouldn’t have given your life for mine. You always were the smarter one, I’m just a stupid brute with a hammer, well, an axe now. Maybe you would have made the better king after all, with your wit and cleverness.”

“Finally something we agree upon.”

Thor jumped to his feet and stared at Loki.

This couldn’t be. He must have been dreaming.

“Loki?” he whispered, the voice hoarse.

“That would be my name, yes. Norns, Thor, my head is killing me.”

“What? How? Loki?”

Loki opened finally his eyes, still bloodshot with burst blood vessels but definitely not dead. His face was pale, too pale. Dry blood stained the skin under his nose, the lips chapped, bruises and cuts on his face. But he was breathing, even if shaky.

He was alive.

“Loki,” Thor whispered.

“I made a promise, brother. The sun WILL shine on us again.”

Without paying attention whether his just resurrected brother was in pain or needed anything, Thor bearhugged him and started to laugh hysterically. Life was maybe better than he thought.

“So, that spell I found in Mother’s books did really work,” Loki said with a smile and buried his face against Thor’s warm skin. “What happened to your eyes? And what is that axe? And what ship is this?”

“Oh Loki, there is so much I have to tell you.”

“Where are we going?”

“Midgard.”

Loki sighed.

 

 

Loki was bored.

Bored beyond reason.

It had been weeks since Valkyrie and Thor had landed the Statesman rather harshly on Wakandan grounds, seeking refuge and a new home for the Asgardians on the Soldier's recommendation after Thor had contacted him and given him a short summary of what had happened with Odin, Hela, Asgard. Loki had taken notice that Thor had avoided mentioning that his hardly beloved brother, traitor and the one responsible for the battle of New York, was among them. But he had remained silent about it.

And so it happened that when Thor left their temporary homestead in Wakanda to negotiate with the Avengers where they could go and build a new home, a new kingdom for them, Loki was just as left behind as any of the others who all barely trusted him and he couldn't blame them if he was honest with himself. Instead Valkyrie and Heimdall accompanied Thor, while Bruce stayed behind with Loki, not ready to face his friends yet.

And Loki was bored.

And a bored Loki could very well turn into a dangerous Loki. His mischievous mind running circles, on the hunt for something to occupy itself with.

But...there was nothing to do for him, even if T'Challa was pleasant, well educated company, and he had to hold back laughter when he witnessed Shuri interact with Korg. The books in the king's library were of little interest for him, and the television... what a useless invention was that?

Chewing on his thumbnail, Loki sat in Shuri's laboratory where she discussed something scientific with Bruce to which he had stopped listening probably hours ago, his left foot dangling and his eyes wandering, looking for something, anything.

He puffed his cheeks and rolled his eyes, and was ignored by the other two.

Deciding to distract himself elsewhere, he got up and went to the white, metal door at the other side of the room, and stared once again at what was behind the glass screen.

A man.

A definitively gorgeous, yet human man, with dark hair that reached his shoulders, wearing a white tank top and who only had one arm. Dark stubble spread over pale skin.

Loki furrowed his brows.

The man was in what looked like a glass casket, but Shuri had assured him at a previous visit when he inquired about him that he was only asleep, waiting to be woken when a way was found to reverse the manipulation his brain had suffered from. And that information had spiked Loki’s curiosity.

Loki had looked up Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes on the internet (a much more useful invention than television!) and had read everything about him, his past, about the Winter Soldier and Hydra. His escape to Bucharest, Siberia, the fight with Stark and his bond with the Soldier. He had read about the hero the sergeant was as a member of the Howling Commandos, the Soldier’s companions. Had read about him being the Soldier’s childhood friend, about his presumed death when he fell from a train.

Loki had read about the deadly assassin Barnes had been turned into while in the hands of Hydra. He didn't quite know how deep the Sergeant's bond with the Soldier was, but he knew what it meant to have his brain played with, being used and having witnessed his own actions like he was a spectator. With the bitter aftertaste of guilt, of pain, of the suffering of others.

He felt for James Barnes, (not that he would ever admit _that_.)

And with a smile, Loki suddenly knew what he would do to end his boredom.

He was going to cure Sergeant Barnes.

 

 

Bucky woke up slowly. Making sure to take stock of his surroundings before opening his eyes.

There before him stood a tall, pale man with long black hair, wearing a black suit and a devious grin. He was obviously no Wakandan doctor or scientist.

“Who are you?” Bucky asked as he slowly stepped out of the cryo chamber. The man took a step back to give him space, but continued grinning.

“I am Loki of Asgard. I am the one you can thank for unscrambling your brain.” Bucky's eyebrows shot up as he heard this, frowning and unsure where to put the name he was sure he had heard before. Was this stranger a Hydra agent who was trying to trick him and turn back into the asset?

“The trigger words. They're gone? How?”

“Let us see for sure, first. Not that you should doubt my powers.” Loki replied smugly. Before Bucky could even begin to tell him what a terrible idea that was, Loki continued. Speaking those dreaded words.

“Longing. Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. Benign. Homecoming. One. Freight car.” The two men stood staring at each other. Bucky slightly hunched over, looking terrified. Loki meanwhile stood proudly, a self satisfied smile on his face.

Slowly, Bucky stood up straight. He was still on edge, what if there was a delayed reaction? When nothing happened after what felt like ages, Bucky ran his hand through his hair and allowed himself to give a small smile.

“They're really gone. How.. how did you do it? You don't look like…,” he trailed off, realizing he may be coming off as rude. Or worse, ungrateful. “I guess it doesn't really matter. Thank you doesn't feel adequate enough, but thank you, Loki”

“Well I certainly don't hear **that** often enough!” Loki responded, a slight frown overtook his face for a brief moment. Then he was grinning mischievously again. “Although I suppose I'll be hearing that again once your soldier arrives.”

“My _soldier_?” Bucky asked, tilting his head like a confused puppy. Loki rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Yes. The tall, blonde beefcake. Not to be confused with my Thor. Yours is definitely not Asgardian,” he replied with a devious wink.

“ _What_ are you doing??”

Bucky jumped and Loki just closed his eyes in defeat and sighed, letting his shoulders sag and then opened his eyes again.

“Lady Shuri, I can assure you…,” he began.

“What the hell have you done?” she asked and passed Loki, running towards Bucky and looked at him with large, worried eyes.

“I have merely healed the sergeant’s brain. It was quite a task, I may add, but he won’t turn back into what you call the Winter Soldier. You may thank me.”  
  
“Thank you? For waking him up from stasis without knowing what you do? You could have hurt him!”  
  
“Your stasis chamber is very much like our sove chambers. It was not hard to figure out how they work even though they are quite primitive.”  
  
“Primitive?” Shuri’s voice turned over and she looked ready to attack Loki for this insult. “You…”

Loki raised his hands in protection when Shuri made a step towards him, but both turned towards Bucky when they heard a slight chuckle coming from him. Sitting on the table, he had his head lowered but his shaking shoulders showed that he was holding back laughter.

“I have no idea who he is, but he did it, Shuri. He really did it.”

A small man with a stocky build and warm dark eyes, who had remained silent while watching the exchange, approached him and put a hand on his arm.

“Are you feeling alright, Bucky? My name is Bruce, I’m a friend of Steve’s and I’m a doctor. Would you allow me to check you over to make certain that... _Loki_... didn't do any damage to you?”

Loki huffed.

“Bruce,” he started. “There is no reason for me to-”

His annoyance rose when he was ignored as Bruce continued: “And we should inform Captain Rogers, Shuri. He would surely like to know about this change.”

“Steve?” Bucky asked while Loki only huffed again and rolled his eyes, arms crossed.

“I really don’t see what all this fuss is about,” He said, but Shuri and Bruce acted as if he didn’t even exist. His and Bucky’s eyes met and Bucky’s expression had turned from the slight happiness he had seen earlier to defeat, and Loki hated it.

“Let him rest. He just woke up and he for sure would like to rest before you treat him like an experiment,” Loki said, surprising even himself with his concern for Barnes.

Bruce at least had the decency to nod, Shuri clearly wanted to say something, but was stopped by Bruce’s gentle hand on her shoulder.

“You’re right. But you will answer our questions while Bucky rests. And we will inform Steve immediately.”

“If you must. I will see you soon, Sergeant.” Loki winked while being escorted out of the room, leaving a reasonably confused Bucky behind.

 

 

After hours of debating and negotiating with the still bitter Stark, Thor and Steve stood side by side staring out of the wall to wall window inside Avengers Tower. Steve was doing his best to make things right with Tony, and the other Avengers, but he refused to apologise over Bucky. That, he refused to budge on.

Thor and Steve agreed to work together, to try and make a deal with Stark, in hopes of helping the now planetless Asgardians. It was still in the early stages, and already proving to be just as difficult as they expected from the temperamental billionaire.

The two blonde men had bonded over their similar losses and hardships. That had lead to the now comfortable silence between them as they they simply stared at the city below.

Upon hearing footsteps approaching, they both turned around. Valkyrie stood before them, she had a blank expression on her face, but as she crossed her arms, the corner of her mouth quirked upward.

“What is it, Valkyrie?” Thor asked first.

“I've just received a call from Doctor Banner,” she replied, and immediately Steve tensed up.

“What did he say? Is Bucky ok?” he asked, just barely keeping his voice from shaking.

Upon seeing Valkyrie glance in his direction, Thor heaved a sigh.

“What did Loki do? I had hoped he would stay out of trouble for a while longer,” Thor said, exasperated.

“Doctor Banner is actually waiting on the phone to speak with both of you. It involves both Sergeant Barnes and Loki.” With that said, she walked away, pointing toward a conference room.

Thor and Steve looked at one another before nearly running to the room. Once there, they could see a hologram of Bruce.

“Ah! There you two are!” Bruce exclaimed as he saw them enter. Before Steve or Thor could begin shouting questions, Bruce raised his hands in a placating gesture.

“Before either of you begin to panic, let me begin by telling you that Sergeant Barnes and Loki are both fine,” Steve and Thor both let out a relieved puff of breath.

“What’s going on then, Bruce? Why did you want to talk to us?” Steve asked.

“You both need to come to Wakanda immediately.” Looking at Steve, he continued. “Barnes is awake.” Then, turning to Thor, “Loki has removed his trigger words.”

 

 

Steve sat bent forward on his seat in the quinjet, hands folded and the muscles in his jaw working. Thor eyed his friend, knowing that he was worried, but he was uncertain what to do.

“I am sure that Loki would not have hurt your friend, Steve,” he said, trying to make his voice sound calm and collected.

“Do you really believe that?” Steve replied. “You’re talking about your brother.”

“Loki has changed. I mean, he still is a mischievous bastard, and he is manipulative, but he is my brother. I wouldn’t have left him behind if I was not certain he is no longer a danger.”

“Yes, because bringing Loki to the Tower would have been such a smart decision,” Natasha chimed in from the cockpit. “All of SHIELD, not to mention Ross, would have had a field day about him being back on Earth.”

Sam went from his place in the front and took a seat next to Steve, who  did not acknowledge his friend’s presence and continued to stare at a point on the opposite wall.

“If he hurt Bucky, I don’t know what I will do to him, but I will make him pay, and I don’t care that he’s your brother.”

“I understand you would risk the world for him, Steve. You did. I heard about what you called the Civil War, I know the Avengers almost broke up over it, but I assure you: Loki is no threat.”

 

 

Tony paced in his workshop and fidgeted with random tools he grabbed and put down again.

“Why did they leave so suddenly?” he whispered to himself, trying to make sense of Thor suddenly demanding to postpone the conferences and Steve announcing he would accompany Thor on his way back to Wakanda. “Friday? Are there protocols from the meeting room where Thor and Steve were taking their break?”

“No. On General Ross’ demand no recordings were allowed. I do have video files of the Valkyrie meeting with them.”

“Play them.”

Tony looked at the holographic video file that Friday played for him. He only saw Thor’s and Steve’s backs while the beautiful (though thoroughly tough) woman that Thor called Valkyrie informed them about something. Tony was slightly upset that there was no audio file to go with the recording.

“Can you read her lips?”

“Not well. I can make something out about a phone call from Doctor Banner. And that it was about Sergeant Barnes.”

Tony tensed, a chill running over his body, fearing immediately for the worst - that Barnes had snapped again and went back into the Winter Soldier protocol.

Without further thinking, Tony ran to the elevator, taking him to the roof.

 

 

“What have you done now, Loki??” Thor yelled while entering the room.

Loki, sitting on a sofa, looked up from the book he was reading.

“Hello to you too, Thor.”

“What have you done to Bucky?” asked Steve, who entered behind Thor. “I swear to God, if you hurt a single hair on his body…”

“Steve, calm down,” a dark skinned man entering behind Steve said. "Bruce said he was fine."

Loki tilted his head, not knowing who he was. His accent stated clearly that he was not Wakandan, but American, and he was familiar with Captain Rogers, so maybe a new addition to the Avengers. Loki rolled his eyes and rose to his feet, making a step towards the two men, but was stopped by a dagger pointed at his throat by a pretty blonde woman he had met before.

“Natalia. How nice to meet you again,” He smiled and raised his hands. “New hair color?”

“Where is he? Shuri said he is not in the quarters they have assigned for him, and I know that you have something to do with him vanishing. Where is he and what did you do to him?” Steve continued, his voice low in anger and a threat in his eyes.

“Hey, Stevie.”

Steve jumped and turned around at the sound of the voice he would know in his sleep. He couldn’t help but let out a relieved sigh at the sight of Bucky who leaned in the doorway to the next room, a steaming cup in his hand, and a slightly amused expression on his face.

“Will you stop threatening my friend, Natasha?” Bucky said and nodded at the Black Widow.

“Friend?” Natasha asked flatly.

“I’d like to think the man who managed to remove the trigger words is a friend of mine, yes.”

“Do you know who he is?”

“Loki. Prince of Asgard. Odinson. Rightful King of Jotunheim. God of Mischief. Brother of Thor. Friend of mine.” Bucky grinned, Loki rolled his eyes again, but couldn't hide the smirk on his face. “Yes, Steve. I know who he is. I may be a hundred years old, but I'm not senile yet.”

“It’s really good to see you, Buck,” Steve couldn't hold back any longer and rushed towards his friend. Placing his mug on a table, Bucky welcomed Steve into a tight embrace.

“Good to see you too, punk.”

As Bucky and Steve embraced, Loki raised an eyebrow and grinned.

 

 

_After nearly thirty minutes of Loki explaining how he removed the trigger words from his mind, Bucky allowed himself to relax around his new ally._

_“So, now that your mind is actually yours again, what are your plans?” Loki asked casually, but with an unmistakable glint of curiosity in his eyes. Bucky gave a slight shrug._

_“Being as I'm still wanted as an international assassin by nearly every government in the world, my choices are limited.” Loki nodded at this._

_“Yes, I know the feeling” He simply waved his hand in dismissal when Bucky raised an eyebrow. “It's a long story, for another time. Now, let's forget about traveling. I have a feeling you are far more interested in seeing a certain Soldier.” When Bucky frowned, he added, “The Captain.”_

_Bucky turned his head away quickly, hoping his pink cheeks wouldn't be noticed._

_“Of course I want to see Steve. He's my best...” Loki let out a loud, exaggerated moan._

_“I swear on myself that if you say best friend, I will put you back into that cryo chamber.” Bucky's eyebrows shot up and his mouth was agape._

_“Sergeant Barnes...”_

_“Bucky.”_

_“Yes, yes,_ **_Bucky_ ** _. I have seen the way your soldier looks at you. Even when you were in cryo he looked at you like a love sick fool.” Bucky let out an embarrassing squeak._

_“No, Loki. Steve isn't.. that way. He was in love with Agent Carter. Hell, he still carries her picture with him.”_

_“And what exactly do you mean by_ **_that way_ ** _?” Loki asked with a slight frown. Bucky huffed and ran his fingers through his hair nervously._

_“I mean, Steve was sick a lot, before the serum, but not like that. He's no queer.” Bucky winced even as he said the words._

_“Oh for crying out loud! You humans are so ridiculous, with your labels and stigma.” Loki poked Bucky in the forehead to get his attention._

_“You do know that, at least in America and certainly here in Wakanda, it is not considered a sickness of any kind to be attracted to the same gender. In fact,” Loki gave a wide, toothy smile, “there is even a wide variety of gay pornography.”_

_Bucky felt himself flushing worse than ever._

_“I...what...that is completely irrelevant. Steve isn't queer. He is in love with Peggy!”_

_“James Barnes. You are either astoundingly stupid, or worse, ignoring what I’ve just told you. I have not only seen Steve Rogers pining over your frozen body, I have heard him talk about you. A man does not say the things that he has said about a mere friend.” Loki poked his forehead again, and Bucky slapped it away, annoyed._

 

 

After the (longer than necessary) hug, Bucky glanced at Loki and noticed the smug grin on his new friend’s face, who stood there with his arms crossed in triumph. When he looked back at Steve, he realized Steve's hands were on his shoulders.

“Um, we should talk, Steve,” Bucky spoke slowly, forcing the words out of his mouth. Steve nodded and took Bucky's hand. As they walked out of the room together, Nat loudly declared herself the winner and demanded Sam to pay up.

Thor squinted his eyes at the two super soldiers, then glared at Loki.

“Again, brother: What have you done? Have you planted some false memories in Sergeant Barnes’ mind?”

“I would never…”

“Ah...,” Thor raised a hand, shutting Loki up.

“Well, yes I could. And maybe I would, but not here, not now, and certainly not to him. What reason would I have?”

“Being bored and upset that you could not come with me to New York?”

Loki huffed.

“Yes, I was bored, I admit that. But I am not what I was, you should know that by now. I wanted to help him, I read about him and there are similarities…”

“You thought you might make a friend?” Natasha said.

“I don’t have friends.”

Sam laughed.

“I’d say, Bucky sees that different.”

“He’s just grateful. He’ll forget about me in short time.”

“You underestimate the impression you make, brother.” Thor clapped his shoulder and shoved him towards the door. “Let’s find something to eat and drink, we have guests to entertain.”

Loki gave Sam and Natasha a look of concern over his shoulder as he was lead out of the room, seeing the pair starting to follow the two Asgardians.

“I am NOT sure I want to be entertained by a War Criminal,” Sam said, earning an elbow punch from Natasha. She noticed that Loki was observing them and gave him a hint of a smile, making Loki again frown.

“Give him a chance. We’re all not without red on our ledger.” Loki’s eyebrows rose, he remembered the words they once exchanged, and Natasha nodded slightly. “I may not completely trust him yet. But I trust Bucky.”

“Speak for yourself.”

“Come friends, food and wine await us. We have reason to celebrate!”

Loki rolled his eyes once again, making Sam and Natasha chuckle as they all finally left the room.

 

 

  
  
He sipped carefully some of the red drink that Thor so freely provided and scrunched his nose. The wine was sour. He hated it and put the glass down.

Thor was in a conversation with the two humans, and Sam seemed to be intrigued by some story his brother was telling. Thor’s eye crinkled in amusement and he held one hand to his belly when he erupted in laughter over something Natasha said. A sting of pain went through Loki’s heart. How long was it ago that he made his brother laugh like that? How long ago had it been since they had laughed together without hesitation? He was aware that everything he had brought his brother over these past years were pain and sadness, loss and grief. When all he had wanted to be his equal. What all he had wanted was to be at Thor’s side forever.

He sighed and leaned back before he stood up,  making his way to his brother and their guests, whom Thor was entertaining.

“Are you telling rude stories about me, brother?”

Thor grinned and winked at him. Heat rose in Loki’s cheeks.

“Of course. What else is to tell about you?”

“Sarcasm. You have to tell me one day when you learned that.”

“Thor was just telling us about the time when Mjölnir had been stolen by the...Jodyn?”

“Jotun,” Loki tried to hide his shame on the mention of his own heritage. “That is a good story. Has he told you how pretty he looked in Freya’s wedding gown? Truly ravishing.”

“You should be silent, or I shall mention that you changed into a female body, and looked as pretty as a Spring morning as my bridesmaid.”

“Wait...he CHANGED into a female body?” Sam asked with wide eyes.

Loki shrugged and bit his lip for a moment. A wriggle of his right hand and a second later, Sam was staring shocked into his own face before it changed back to Loki’s smirk.

Natasha and Thor laughed, while Sam continued to stare open mouthed at him.

“That was...wow. Can you do that with everyone?”

“Everyone I imagine, yes. It’s one of the first spells Mother taught me.”

Thor’s smile grew soft at the memory of their mother and Loki wished he could touch his brother, share the memory with him, honor the woman that raised the both of them and who never showed him anything but love.

“She taught you well.”

“That she did.”

“Can you...change into Nat?”

Natasha raised a brow and grinned when a moment later Loki’s tall dark form changed into a small blonde who raised a brow in the same manner.

“Wow, that gives opportunities. Bet it’s never boring with you in the bedroom, huh?”

Loki, changed back, glared at him.

“How dare you?” he said under his breath and turned to leave.

“That was uncalled for, Samuel,” Thor said and followed him. “Loki.”

Loki had started to leave the room but stopped at his brother’s voice.

“It’s the alcohol speaking, Loki, he did not mean anything.”

“Humans. They truly are nothing but insects,” Loki hissed.

Thor put a hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“Stay. Drink with us. You endured Volstagg’s jokes, you can handle a human’s as well.”

“Maybe I don’t want to. Maybe I am sick of being made fun of.”

The door opened and Steve stepped into the room, the face stern and the eyes lowered. Only when he found the two Asgardians standing close to the door he looked up, sadness in his eyes.

“Oh, you idiot,” Loki said. “What have you said to him? Where is he?”

“He’s in the room they gave him, down the hallway,” Steve said, the voice not much more than a whisper.

Loki shot daggers from his eyes, looked shortly at Thor who only nodded, and fled the room.

It didn’t take him long to find Bucky in the room they had shared a conversation in earlier. The brunett was sitting on the comfortable looking bed, the right arm on his knees, bent forward, the long hair covering his face.

“You told him?” Loki asked while he closed the door behind him.

“Yeah.”

Loki nodded and pressed his lips together. Without hesitation, he took place next to Bucky and put a comforting hand on his back. Bucky tensed at the touch, but relaxed immediately.

“I told him what I feel for him. What I always felt, even before the war when he was still a runt,” Bucky told him. “He didn’t say anything for a while. Then he said he doesn’t feel that way.” Bucky let out a deep breath. “I made a fool of myself, and I probably just lost my best friend.”

“Then he never was your friend. He took your hand when you left earlier.”

“He said that was a reflex.”

“Norns, you humans and your ideas about who to love and who not to love just because society programmed you like that.”

“Is it different in...was it different in Asgard?”

“We love who we love. If two women or two men love each other we celebrate the same as if it was a man and a woman who join their hands in marriage. Love is a gift that should be accepted whenever freely and willingly given. We marry for eternity.”

“Were you ever married?”

“I was. Once. She died a long time ago, centuries in your world. We live a much longer time than you do.”

“Never thought about it. How long do you live?”

“5,000 of your years are common.”

Bucky looked up and grinned.

“So you’re really old, huh?”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“How did we get from a deep conversation about sexual orientation and marriage to my age? How old are you?”

“100 in March.”

“Child,” Loki chuckled.

“So, spill. How old?”

“I think a little over 1,000 could be right, I am not quite sure.”

“Holy God of Mischief.”

Loki laughed and Bucky joined until they both had tears in their eyes and fell backwards onto the bed, lying next to each other, their laughter evening out.

“I wish it was the same here, with being in love with a man.”

“I didn’t say it was easy back home.”

“Had your heart broken too?” Bucky asked, turning his head towards Loki who stared at the ceiling.

“More than once.”

Bucky nodded.

“I guess that happens.”

“I does. And it hurts and always will hurt. And that is why we need to do something about that stubborn soldier of yours. We need a plan.”

Bucky drew his brows together and saw Loki grinning mischievously.

“I can see the wheels in your head turning. Spill. What do you have in mind?”

Loki turned to his side and leaned his head on his hand, face growing serious.

“I don't believe for a second that the good Captain isn't in love with you. From what I know of him, he spent most of his life in an era where, as you know, it was considered wrong, a crime to love the same gender.” Bucky nodded sadly in agreement.

“You think that he isn't admitting his feelings because he's afraid?”

“You've hit the proverbial nail on the head, Bucky. You simply need to educate him, the way I did with you, and I do believe he'll get his head out of his ass,” Loki said with a chuckle. Bucky had a sad smile on his face.

“I hope you're right. I don't know what I would do if Steve left me.”

“Of course I'm right. I know how to read people, I've been doing it for a thousand years,” Loki said with a wink.

Bucky grinned in return.

 

 

  
“So, where is he?” Tony said, strutting into the room in which Steve and Thor were currently having a snack and were talking casually to T’Challa.

“Tony?” Steve asked, while Thor grunted a greeting while chewing on his PB&J, a meal he praised immediately and was inhaling the fourth of after just having been introduced to it.

“Yes. Tony. Hello, Steve. Nice to meet you, how nice of you to invite me to your little get together.”

Steve blinked.

“We told you we were going to Wakanda on private matters. What are you doing here?”

“Your private matters have nothing to do with a certain James Buchanan Barnes?”

Steve coughed, the eyes wide.

“How do you know?”

“Friday was so kind to inform me of the conversation you had with Valkyrie, after which you suddenly had to leave on “private matters”. Guess how surprised I was when I found out that the murderer of my parents is back amongst the living.”

“It’s not like Bucky was dead.”

“Sleeping Beauty was out. Period. And he should still be. There is no way that his programming has been erased just like that,” Tony said and snapped his fingers.

“I assure you…”

“We have spoken to him. And Loki has done a formidable thing when he healed James, Tony. There is no need to worry.”

The room went dead silent on Thor’s word. Both T’Challa and Steve were staring at him, Steve had turned pale and even T’Challa swallowed, while Thor took another bite of his sandwich, chewed with raised brows and looked questioningly at his friends.

“What?” He asked through the chewing.

“DID YOU SAY LOKI?” Tony yelled.

Thor swallowed.

“Oh shit,” He said.

“Tony, it’s not what it sounds like,” Steve said.

“We can assure you…,” T’Challa started, but Tony made a gesture to stop him.

“You are telling me, that not only the man who killed my parents, who is an internationally wanted assassin is awake, but also a war criminal who was exiled from Earth is here, ON EARTH?”

“I could not leave him behind on Asgard, since Asgard is no more,” Thor said, taking another bite. “I don’t understand why Jane never introduced me to this P, B and J. It’s delicious.”

“Can we maybe not talk about your sandwich, Point Break? Your brother is here? Seriously? Is he at least in chains in some sort of cell where you can supervise him?”

“You have to see this. Bucky is sparring with Loki in a knife fight, it is AWESOME!” Shuri said, running into the room, causing her brother to facepalm, Steve sighed in defeat. Tony turned pale and then red in anger, and Thor grunted in frustration.

“YOU LET THEM HAVE WEAPONS?” Tony yelled at them.

 

 

“I hear them coming, I hope you're ready.” Loki panted, grinning at Bucky. Bucky grinned back, nodding.

Swiftly, Loki kicked out one of Bucky's legs, knocking him on his back, actually surprising Bucky. He was then straddling Bucky, and that was how the Avengers found them.

As they turned their heads to look at the group, they saw everyone (except Natasha) with mouths gaping. A reasonable reaction to seeing Loki, with a dagger in each hand, on top of Bucky, who held a very sharp knife in his right hand.

Before anyone could fully comprehend what was happening, Steve was running towards them. Quickly, Loki dismounted Bucky, and offered a hand to help him up.

“Ah, Captain Rogers, so ni-” was all Loki could get out before a super soldier fist was connecting with his face, knocking him on his ass.

“Steve! What the hell is wrong with you?” Bucky yelled as he leaned over Loki, who slyly winked at him. Bucky resisted the simultaneous urge to grin _and_ roll his eyes.

Steve sputtered as he watched Bucky help up the god of mischief, then gently cup his face with his hand.

“Are you alright, Loki?” Bucky asked sweetly.

“Yes, thank you for asking,” Loki replied primly, glaring at Steve.

“But he.. you guys were.. he was..” Steve was left dumbfounded.

“We weren't _fighting,_ we were just practicing techniques.” Bucky frowned at Steve.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Tony sighed behind them. “Not only are you letting them run free, you also let them have deadly weapons.”

“Well, hello, Mr. Stark.” Loki grinned, flipping one of his daggers in his hand, making Bucky once again roll his eyes. The Asgardian chuckled and leaned gently against Bucky, who slung his arm around Loki’s waist. Steve’s eyes widened almost comically.

“Let’s find something to eat. Almost being murdered always makes me hungry,” Loki said and as if glued to Bucky's hip, they left the training room.

“Bucky?” Steve said with a tiny voice, watching them leave.

“Looks like you missed your chance, Steve,” Natasha said, earning a shoulder shove from Sam, while Tony still just stared astonished at the now empty door, through which the two war criminals just left.

“Aren’t you going to do anything?” He asked T’Challa, who had a small smile on his face.

“What would you have me do? Prince Loki and Sergeant Barnes are both guests in Wakanda, and they are welcome here. Both have showed my people nothing but kindness and courtesy. I see no reason to intervene if two seasoned soldiers want to train with each other.”

“They are killers!”

“We all have our demons. I can assure you that these men are working on overcoming theirs. Can you say the same about yourself?”

Tony glared at the king. The grin on Thor’s face was wide, even though his eyes showed something between surprise and concern.

“Loki has made his mistakes, but he is a better man now and he still manages to surprise me after all these years,” he said.

“Mistakes? He is responsible for the death of thousands, you Asgardian moron!” Tony’s voice grew louder while Thor growled in warning. “Barnes isn't much better, how can you all act like all their crimes never happened?”

“You ever heard about brainwashing or torture?” Shuri chimed in. “I am pretty sure that you would break if you had to go through a fraction of what they have.”

Tony raised a brow.

“What…? I don’t…”

“Exactly. You don’t.” Steve said. “You don’t think. You don’t care. You don’t even try to understand. If you aren’t able to show at least a little empathy, shut up.”

With these words, Steve stomped out of the room, a flabbergasted Tony looking with wide eyes into his direction, mouth open in an unspoken protest. Thor clapped him on the shoulder.

“He is right. You should really use that big brain of yours once in a while,” the God of thunder said and followed Steve, the snickering pair of Sam and Natasha on their heels.

T’Challa reached out for his sister, and told her with a little nod of his head to not say anything and get involved into the fight between the Avengers. She slung a hand around his shoulder and allowed him to lead her out of the room, leaving Tony behind on his own.

“I don’t think that his brain is that big, brother. His armor is quite primitive, the things I could do with it if he let me…” he heard the teenage genius’ babbling.

“Shuri…” T’Challa sighed.

 

 

Loki leaned against a counter in the small kitchen that was attached to Bucky’s room, watching how his friend tried to make tea with one hand.

“You could let me assist, you know,” he said when Bucky dropped a teabag once again.

“I...am...going…to...do this,” Bucky said, trying to juggle spoon, milk and tea in one hand. “I hate having only one arm. As much as I hated the metal thing, I hate being so...handicapped.”

“I think Lady Shuri is working on something for you. I overheard her talking to the king yesterday, I think it’s going to be a surprise.”

Bucky grinned.

“You mean you eavesdropped. If it’s a surprise, should you have told me about it?”

Loki shrugged and took the steaming cup from Bucky’s outreached hand, sniffing at the steaming liquid.

“Earl Grey. It’s good, try it.”

He took a careful sip, then another, and a smile spread over his face.

“This is...quite pleasant. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Bucky smiled. “You really think that Steve is jealous? He said he only sees me as a friend.”

“Yes. A friend he dreams of in his lonely nights, Ja- ahem, _Bucky_. And yes, the captain is jealous. He doesn’t understand what is happening between us, but when you touched my face after that punch,” Loki grinned when he touched his jaw. “That was not just surprise that we were close, he was shocked that there was something else.”

“You are a good actor.”

“Who says I act?”

Now it was Bucky whose eyes widened when he looked at his new friend, making Loki throw back his head in laughter.

“Oh Barnes, your face. Precious. No, I don’t feel that way about you. I do find myself liking you, but not in the same way as the captain feels about you.” He said with a wink.

“Whew! I thought for a moment I'd have to fight a god, and I’m not sure I can take you with one arm.” Bucky said good-naturedly.

“You’re a super soldier. Not that it would be easy to fight _us_.” With his words, a mirror image of Loki appeared, then another and another and another, until Bucky was surrounded by seven Lokis who all grinned at him.

“Wow. An army of your own.” Bucky said to who he thought was the real Loki, and was proven wrong when six of them vanished upon the one left of him wriggled his fingers. “That is impressive, you know. And I bet helpful.”

“Magic has its merits. My mother, Thor’s mother, she taught me well.”

“She sounds like an amazing woman.”

“She was. She never gave me the feeling of not being her son. Not even after I knew I was… adopted. Frigga was in every sense of the word my mother. Not that I would admit that in front of Thor.”

Bucky heard sadness in Loki’s voice.

“You miss her.”

“Every day. She was closest to me all my life. Odin, he preferred Thor and while he groomed him to rule Asgard one day and to lead the army, Frigga taught me the ways of magic and gave me the love for art and books. We are very much our parent’s sons,” Loki said, his voice low and taking a seat on the plush sofa, taking another sip of tea.

“I wish I could have met her.” Bucky mused. “She sounds a lot like my mom.”

Loki looked up at him and smiled, one of the rare honest smiles that looked almost a little shy. He made another small gesture with his hand and a shimmering image of Frigga appeared. Her hair in its usual style, a flowing golden dress with yellow accents on the tall and graceful body.

“Wow. She’s gorgeous.” Bucky gasped at the image of the goddess.

Loki looked at his smiling mother, a tear forming in one eye. “She would have liked you. She would have protected you fiercely, just like she protected me. The last time I saw her, she visited me in the dungeon, in my cell. I acted like an angry child and I told her that she was not my mother. I never got the chance to tell her I loved her.”

Bucky smiled and nodded, sitting down next to him, both looking at Frigga who smiled and then dissolved in little golden sparks.

“It’s time that at least one of us finds happiness, Bucky. We have lost too much already. I will do anything in my power to make the captain see that he has always loved you.”

“That’s going to take a while. Steve’s a little shit, and he’s stubborn. Hell is gonna freeze over before he admits he was wrong about something.

“You are aware that I’m a Frost Giant?” Loki chuckled. “Freezing is my speciality.”

 

 

That night found Loki restless and unable to sleep. The new surroundings, along with knowing Stark was in the same building, proved too much distraction for him. There was a heavy burden on his shoulders, something that kept his mind busy and his heart weary. There were memories of things done, and more painful, of things never done, that woke him from a short sleep, with a hurting chest and a weight in his stomach that had become a constant companion.

Instead of just lying awake in bed, Loki decided to wander the halls. They were wide and long. Doors leading to bedrooms that housed the Avengers were evenly spaced. No sound heard on those marble tiles but his light footed steps.

Suddenly Loki heard a cry, he walked silently to the door where the sound originated, and slowly opened the door.

He knew it was Bucky's room, they had parted ways hours before, both hoping for a decent night's sleep. It seemed that that wasn't in the cards for either of them, though.

Loki approached his friend's bed, and saw that Bucky was soaked in sweat. His face scrunched in, what looked like, a mix of pain and horror. His chest was heaving in labored breaths, and his hand gripping so hard into the sheets that his knuckles turned white.

Suddenly, Bucky's eyes flew open and he sat up at lightning speed. His right hand reached out frantically towards Loki.

"Bucky," Loki spoke gently, but firmly. "You are alright. You are safe in Wakanda."

"Steve," was all Bucky could get out before heavy sobs wracked his body. Unfamiliar with comforting others, it took Loki a moment to react. He tried to think of what his mother would do.

Slowly, Loki sat beside Bucky, and began rubbing his back. "Steve is here as well, he is perfectly fine, my friend."

"I almost killed him!" Bucky groaned with misery, still sobbing. "No wonder he doesn't love me. I'm a monster, a killer."

Loki frowned deeply and squeezed Bucky's shoulder. "Nonsense. It was not you who did those things. If Thor can continue to love me after all I've done, Steve can, and _does_ still love you."

With a tear streaked face, Bucky lifted his head to look at his friend. Loki gave him a sympathetic smile (or, at least, he _hoped_ it looked sympathetic).

"Come now, your bed is disgusting. Go sleep in my bed. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

 

 

The following morning Steve woke up and went to Bucky's room, hoping he might be able to clear the air with his best pal. He had thought long about the things that happened, what Bucky had admitted to feeling for him, things he still tried to wrap his head around.

When he saw Bucky's bed empty, but covered in disheveled blankets, Steve immediately worried and quickly searched the common rooms and kitchen. No dice.

He saw Thor coming out of his room and ran over to him.

"I can't find Bucky, have you seen him?" Steve tried to keep his voice steady, even though he was getting a bit nervous.

Thor shook his head.

"No, I haven't seen Sergeant Barnes. Let us go ask Loki. They seem to have become fast friends. Surely he will know." And together they headed down the hallway.

Without even bothering to knock, Steve threw open the door.

In an instant, he felt an onslaught of emotions. They quickly went from relief, at seeing Bucky safe, to shock, upon seeing Loki sleeping next to him, and then to a mix of jealousy, anger, and sadness, when he saw Loki's arm slung over Bucky's side. Bucky’s chest was bare and the soft sheets were covering his lower (possibly nude) half. His head was turned to the left where Loki layed, and his nose buried in Loki’s hair that looked surprising wavy when unstyled.

There was no doubt these two men, God and soldier, had been intimate in a way that tore Steve’s heart apart.

“Loki.” Thor said, raising his voice when he did not even stir. “Loki!” He barked and his brother shot up, his hair standing in soft waves and eyes wide with surprise. Still, his hand remained on Bucky’s chest where it had rested.

“Wha… Thor?” He stutterted.

“Is that how you pay respect?”

“What are you talking about?”

Bucky moved and slowly woke, rubbing his eyes and then looked in confusion at Thor. He spotted Steve and they made brief eye contact before his friend fled the room.

Tears welled up in his eyes, bile rose in his throat and without a word, when he ran back to his room, slamming the door shut, where he sank to the floor, suddenly again feeling like the small boy who had, if nothing else, Bucky. And now he lost him too.

“You fake friendship when all you wanted was to bed Sergeant Barnes? Another trick, Loki? I thought you were more than that, and in all those years since she… since she is gone, you stayed alone and I really thought you were mourning her,” Thor continued back in Loki’s room

“Thor, this is not what it looks like,” Bucky intervened while Loki’s eyes got dark. The air was suddenly filled with tension and something sizzled. Thor’s eyes sparked in anger, while Loki seemed to be tense and ready to defend himself.

“How dare you?” Loki hissed, leaning forward. “You have NO right to even think of her.”

Thor’s mouth turned into a grim line, his hands balled into fists. He then turned around and left.

Loki panted and sat up, swinging his long legs out of the bed and leaning forward.

“Loki, you ok?” Bucky asked, moving to sit behind his friend, putting his hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“Yes, of course. Do not worry about me.”

“I do worry.”

Loki turned to look at Bucky.

“I know you do. But you shouldn’t. I’m not worth it.”

Bucky chuckled, making Loki look at him in wonder.

“I said the same to Steve a while ago, on our way to Siberia, when he gave it all up to fight for me. When Stark was hunting us. I told him that I’m not sure I’m worth all that.”

“What did he say?”

“He told me that I’m not responsible for the actions of the Winter Soldier.”

“He was right. It was the brainwashing of Hydra that turned you into a weapon. The Bucky I have come to call my friend is a soldier, but he is not a weapon anymore.”

Bucky smiled.

“Then what makes you think you are not worthy.”

“Things I did. Things I am.”

Bucky shoved Loki with his shoulder.

“Tell me about it. We spent hours talking about my past and demons. What about yours? You are not just a war criminal. There is more, I can see it in your eyes.”

Loki raised a brow.

“I told you about the torture I went through with Hydra. I could see it in your eyes, Loki. The realization that we went through something similar.”

The god nodded.

“You are right. I fell from the Bifrost. I always say that Thor pushed me into the Abyss, but I let go. Father, Odin, told me that I was worth nothing, once again, and I couldn’t bear it any more. I let go and fell.”

Bucky held his breath.

“I wanted to die. Instead I ended up in the Black Order’s hands. And I can assure you, their hands are very capable. I refused at first, I tried to fight them. They ripped me apart and put me back together, or so it felt. I...I really don’t want to go into detail. In the end I would have agreed to anything to make it stop. So I agreed to conquer Earth for Thanos.” He sighed. “What hurts most is that even Thor thought my actions not suspicious. The mad God.” Loki chuckled slightly.

Bucky nodded.

“He should have known, that you would not do that of your own will.”

“Oh, I would have. I have tried to erase my own kind. And I did numerous things that were not… sane.”

“Your own kind? I think we have a lot of catching up to do. You tried to erase Asgard. I thought you wanted to rule it?”

“I wanted to be Thor’s equal. It was never my intent to rule, only when I realized that I could never be at his side as…” He stopped and looked with widened eyes at Bucky who had a big question mark on his face. “I… am not Asgardian by birth. I was taken by Odin from my homeworld and raised as his son.”

“Yeah, I heard about the adopted thing. What are you then? Some green little alien?”

Loki gave an honest laugh.

“Blue.” He corrected.

“No way! Why aren't you blue now?”

“It’s a spell that Frigga put on me on Odin’s behalf. My own magic mimicked something from Odin’s memories after he took me, it glamours my true appearance. It is sensitive to the cold. When I get in contact with ice I show my true form, or if I hold the Casket of Ancient Winters. I learned to control the spell on my own after I discovered it.”

“Show me?”

“I’m a monster, James, you would not…”

“You’re the first friend I've made in 70 years, and the first alien I've met, ever. I want to see.”

“James, in all honesty. I do not want to lose your friendship over what I am, I can’t…”

“Loki. In all honesty. You could look like a cave troll and I would not care. I think we both know that this friendship goes deeper than that.”

Loki pressed his lips together until they almost vanished, considering for a moment and then he concentrated.

A wave went over his body, changing it.

Bucky stared in wonder at his friend, whose pale skin had turned a cerulean blue, body covered with lines that formed decorative patterns. Still, Loki had lowered his head and turned his face away, as if he was hiding from Bucky.

“Look at me.” Loki did not react. “Please, Loki. Look at me.”

Slowly Loki turned and looked at Bucky, fear of rejection showing.

The eyes, usually somewhere between blue and green, had turned red, more of those ornamental lines covered his forehead and cheekbones. He looked away from Bucky, shame in his eyes and it looked as if he was at the brink of tears.

“Loki…,” Bucky said softly, touching Loki’s face and making him look at him again. “You are magnificent.”

Loki’s expression calmed and a little smile spread over his lips. A moment of intimacy, softness and silence was shared between them, and if there had been any romantic feelings between them, this would have been the moment to kiss. Bucky’s eyes studied Loki’s changed features, and Loki lost more and more of the insecurity he suddenly had shown.

“Those lines, are they…”

“I am not sure what they are or what they mean. I think they are etched into the skin after birth, maybe showing status. I have seen Jotun that had none of them, but I was born a prince and Odin found me shortly after my birth.”

“That would make sense. You have no reason to hide this, Loki.”

“I was raised at the court of Asgard, where Jotun were the enemy. All my life I was told stories about the monsters of the ice. It is not easy to understand that I am one of them. Not even Thor has seen me like this, ever.”

“I am honored you trust me enough, Loki.”

“The honor is mine, to have met you, and to call you my friend.”

Silence hung between them and then Bucky gave Loki’s hand a little squeeze.

“I think it is time you go talk to your soldier. I have a feeling he has misconstrued what he's seen, and no doubt he is finally ready to be truthful with you.” Loki said to Bucky.

Bucky gave a rueful smile.

“Will you be alright?” He asked.

“Of course. I have some things I must discuss with my own idiotic soldier.”

 

 

Bucky shifted his feet nervously as he stood outside of Steve's door.

What if Loki was wrong?

Mustering up his courage, Bucky knocked. He heard some shuffling around and then Steve opened his door, but just enough to show his face.

“Bucky!” Steve looked, and sounded surprised to see him. “Uh, what is it?”

“I think we should talk. Can I come in?” Bucky asked.

Steve hesitated, but eventually stepped aside and let him in. The room was dark and dreary looking. Bucky opened the curtains to let in light, then turned to Steve.

Steve's eyes looked wet, and his nose was a bit red. It was obvious he'd been crying. Bucky took a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Why are you upset, Steve?”

Steve crossed his arms defensively.

“I'm not upset.” He replied. Bucky rolled his eyes.

“I'm not blind, or stupid. Are you upset I slept in Loki's bed?”

Steve shrugged and looked away.

“Who you sleep with isn't my business. I'm just.. surprised after what you told me yesterday.”

“I had a nightmare. About how I almost killed you. About what a monster I truly am,” Bucky said quietly.

Steve's head snapped back to look at him, quickly going to sit by Bucky's side. He hesitantly put his hand on his friend's knee.

“That wasn't you, Buck.”

Bucky looked at Steve and gave a sad smile.

“But I did it. And having that dream made me realize I could never be worthy of your love, no matter how badly I want it.” Looking down at his feet, Bucky continued. “Loki heard me. Woke me up. I had sweated through my sheets, and he told me to sleep in his bed. We talked a lot. I never knew I'd have so much in common with an alien God.”

Steve squeezed Bucky's knee, but didn't interrupt. He didn't want to hear about what Bucky had done with Loki, but it was his fault. He had pushed his friend away. He hadn't been there when Bucky needed him.

“We slept in the same bed, but there are no romantic feelings between us, Steve. We sought comfort in one another because we both hurt, but you will always be the only person I ever love. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.”

Steve had tears rolling down his cheeks. He couldn't hold back any longer. Gently, he turned Bucky's face towards his.

“Buck, I've always been afraid of my feelings for you. Afraid I'd disgust you. Afraid of holding you back. But mostly afraid I didn't deserve you.”

Bucky's eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open in shock.

“Stevie…,” It was all he could get out before they were kissing. It was gentle, but passionate. Seventy years of holding back was slowly unleashed.

 

 

Loki had taken a shower, always impressed by the technology that was behind the rainforest shower he came to enjoy, but not even the hot spray of water and the scent of grass and rosemary that were in the shower foam he loved, could distract him from his thoughts. His mind was set on his new friend, who in just these few days that seemed so much longer since he woke him up had become a closer friend to any he ever had, and he was...worried. Worried that the soldier would hurt James again. Despite him appearing strong and confident, Loki knew how vulnerable and fragile he really was. If heartbroken again, Loki did not dare to put his worst fears of what could happen to Bucky into words. Everything was possible, and he wanted to believe that Bucky would come out of this unharmed.

Sighing he rubbed the soft towel through his hair and stepped back into his bedroom, and tried to hide the surprise he felt when he found Thor sitting on his bed. The tall man was leaning forward and had his arms rested on his knees. He did not look up when Loki passed him on the way to the wardrobe.

“Brother,” Loki said.

Thor grunted instead of a reply. Again, no reaction came while Loki let his bathrobe drop to the floor, standing nude in front of the clothes that were provided for him and seemingly picking out something that pleased him today. Oh, he hoped that Thor’s eyes were plastered on his pale backside, and made a big show of putting on well fitting black pants and a thin grey shirt that sat tight on his body (and was slighty translucent). He thought it made his eyes stand out quite nicely.

“I don’t know why you don’t just have clothes magically appear,” Thor mumbled.

“That would be a waste of energy. And the clothes that Shuri got us are really nice,” Loki replied.

“Are you finished with your fashion show so that we can talk?”

“Ah, still the obtuse one. We are already talking.”

Thor glared at him.

“What game are you playing, brother?”

“I am not aware that I am playing any game, dearest brother,” Loki mocked him. “What are you implying?”

“I’ve known you for an eternity. And I know you don’t make friends. Especially not mortal ones. So, tell me, Loki. What game are you playing with Sergeant Barnes?”

“He prefers being called Bucky.”

“You call him James.”

“I do.”

“Answer me!” Thor barked.

Loki avoided looking at Thor and instead looked out of the window that gave a beautiful view over the Wakandan mountains.

“I assure you that I am not playing any game with James. What would I gain from it?”

“What did you gain by stabbing me when you tricked me into thinking you were a snake? What did you gain by coloring father’s beard yellow,” Loki chuckled at the memory. “What did you gain by tricking Sigyn into marrying you?”

Loki’s head snapped around and he stared at his brother, the pupils wide and the mouth agape.

“What did you say?”

“You heard me.”

“What did you dare to say, Thor? That I tricked the woman I loved into marrying me?”

“Everybody knows, Loki. You even gloated about that trick. Poor, innocent Sigyn, so in love with her fiancé and then you took his place and pretended to be him to marry her instead?”

“You are not worthy to say her name. You are not worthy!” Loki yelled at him.

“Don’t pretend you felt anything for her. She was a prize you wanted to gain, you wanted to embarrass her. How low are you sinking now in pretending to be friends with a man only to get him into your bed? Was the fuck worth it?”

Loki’s hand slapped Thor hard and Thor blinked at him, moving his jaw.

“You are the one who is not worthy. You've learned nothing from the past. I can’t believe I trusted in you and supported you. Again tricked by Loki.” Thor laughed. “I am a fool.”

“Yes, you are,” Bucky said from the doorway, having entered Loki’s room unnoticed. Steve was right beside him, having his hand interlocked with Bucky’s and not making the impression to ever let the hand go again.

Loki wiped a tear from his eye, hoping nobody noticed his moment of weakness.

“You are the biggest fool I have ever had the pleasure to meet, and I’ve known Stevie since we were just out of diapers.”

“Hey…,” Steve said but shut up after a look from Bucky.

“Do you really think that your brother, the only family you have left, deserves to be treated like that? You just told the man who gave his life for you that he is not worth anything. Wow, Thor, way to go.”

“He only pretended to be dead,” Thor meant.

“God. You are really a dumbass. If he had not pretended to be dead, if he had no magic to protect himself. What would the lance the dark elf impaled him with have done with him?”

“He would have died.”

“What would getting his neck snapped by Thanos have done with him?”

“It would have killed him,” Thor said with a voice that grew thinner.

“From what I understand, magic is not an exact science. He risked being killed, for you, I might add. And you dare to call him out?” Bucky’s voice got low and threatening. “Allow me to tell you one thing, Thor Odinson.” Thor looked up, the air in the room heavy while Loki was worrying his hands like he always did when he was nervous, and Steve rubbed his thumb over the back of Bucky’s hand in a calming gesture. “You are unworthy.”

Thor got up and went to leave the room, both hands balled into fists and not honoring any of the other men with a look.

“Thor…,” Loki started, but Thor slammed the door shut behind him.

“I should go see if he’s doing okay,” Steve said, pressing a soft kiss to Bucky’s lips and followed Thor with a nod of the other.

Loki had turned his back towards them and again worried his hands.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

Loki nodded but didn’t look up, prompting Bucky to put a hand on his shoulder. He felt how Loki trembled slightly.

“You heard what he said?”

“Not everything. I’ll only ask one time. Are you playing any kind of game with me?”

“I would never. I am a trickster, yes. But I’m not without emotion.” Loki looked at Bucky, there were tears in his eyes. “I’m scared, Bucky.”

He was surprised that Loki had used his nickname. Bucky pulled him into a hug, and slowly, Loki let the stiffness slip from his bones and melt into the embrace. He sobbed softly in Bucky’s arms.

“We both have lost too much, Loki,” Bucky said. “It’s time to be on the winning team for once. It’s time to make a new family and a new home.”

Loki nodded, wiped his tears away and tried to make his smile appear confident.

“Sometimes it’s hard to remember how to breathe,” He said.

“I know that feeling.”

Loki sat down on the window ledge.

“I have nobody left. I lost my family. The Asgardians don’t trust me. Humanity hates me. Thor, well, I guess he hates me too. I have only him and you left. I can’t lose your friendship. I just can’t. I’m not sure I could trick fate once again in surviving something I am not meant to survive. I seem to outlive everyone I love.”

“Your wife? Sigrid?”

“Sigyn,” Loki corrected. “I loved her, in the beginning, but I was not talking about her. It’s...I’m not ready to talk about those I lost. I...I’m not ready.”

Silent tears streamed down Loki’s face, and seeing his friend so distressed broke Bucky’s heart. He took a seat next to him on the wide ledge and leaned his shoulder against Loki’s.

“I’m here whenever you are ready. I’ll always be here when you need me, ok?”

Loki nodded.

“Do you believe me?”

Loki nodded again.

“I want to hear it.”

“I believe you.”

“Good,” Bucky grinned. “By the way, I got him.”

Now Loki looked up with a raised brow.

“You got him?”

“Yep. I got him. I got my Steve. He loves me, Loki. He really loves me.”

A wide grin spread over Loki’s face.

“You have no idea how happy this makes me.”

“Only slightly. You were right all along.”

“I tend to do that.”

“Arrogant asshole.”

Loki huffed and dried his face with his hands.

“I am so happy for you, James.”

“I was Bucky just a few minutes ago.”

“A moment of weakness.”

“I’m going to kill your brother, you know? I can’t believe he said those things,” Bucky hissed.

“I can’t believe you told him that he is unworthy. That’s somewhat of a weak point for him.”

Bucky laughed and Loki couldn’t help but join in the laughter.

“That’s why I said it to be honest.”

Loki raised his brows.

“I am...impressed.”

Bucky’s movement hinted at a bow, making Loki grin once again.

“Now, tell me, Loki. Since when have you been in love with your brother?”

Suddenly Loki had the feeling that the world stopped turning. He opened his mouth to say something, to object, to lie, to trick...but that moment Steve stormed into the room, pale and the eyes wide in something close to shock.

“I have to leave for Scotland. There are alien attacks and they are going for the stones. Vis and Wanda are in Scotland, they will go for him. Tony just called from New York, some tentacle faced alien and his buddies attacked a...wizard?...who has one of the stones.”

Loki stood up, significantly shaken.

“The stones?”

“The infinity stones. They are…”

“I know what they are. I used one of them to heal Bucky,” He looked at Bucky. “It’s Thanos. It’s the Black Order. They can’t get the stones.”

“YOU HAVE THE TESSERACT?” Thor yelled right behind Steve.

“Oh Norns…,” Loki whispered.

 

 

"Sergeant Barnes, it is good to see you up and doing well," Shuri said to Bucky as he was lead into her lab by an assistant a few days later.

"Thank you, Princess Shuri. Please call me Bucky, though."

As they shook hands, Shuri scrunched up her nose.

"We have a deal, as long as you call me Shuri." Bucky smiled and nodded.

"Good! Now I have something for you. Feel free to take it or leave it. Your decision will be respected," Shuri said as she placed a large case on an exam table.

Bucky's curiosity was definitely piqued, and he stepped closer to the case.

Shuri pulled open the top, and there before him was an arm.

"This prosthetic is made with Vibranium. With it, you'll be able to feel actual textures and temperature. Needless to say, it is significantly stronger than your previous one. It can be attached and made fully functional in less than an hour." Shuri spoke clearly and precisely.

Bucky ran his fingers over the prosthesis. It was nothing like the archaic and clunky one that Hydra had forced on him. This arm was sleek, a clearly sophisticated design.

"This is gorgeous, Shuri. Why.. I mean, I'm grateful. Truly, but why would you make this for me?" Bucky asked, nerves creeping up on him.

"Bucky. You are a good man. That is reason enough." Shuri said seriously. "You are also a war hero, and best friend to Captain Rogers."

"More than friends, now"

Bucky and Shuri spun around to see Loki entering the room. Shuri frowned at him, not pleased at being interrupted, then suddenly turned to Bucky grinning.

"More than friends?"

"Yes, but it's still very new. _Loki_." Bucky coughed slightly. "As for the arm, though."

The attempt at changing the topic didn't fool anyone.

"It's not bad." Loki said as he picked up the arm, looking it over. "You're going to need it if you plan on helping us with Thanos." He added nonchalantly.

Nodding, Bucky turned to Shuri.

"He's right. When can you put it on?"

"It just so happens that I have the next hour free. How does right now sound?" Shuri replied with a smirk.

 

 

Bucky had been impressed with several things that stressful day.

Attaching the new arm had gone surprisingly well. Only little pain when the arm was attached to his body, more like a stinging feeling, the smell of burnt flesh and the sounds of drills and flames. It had brought back memories of Hydra, of pain and fear.

But having Steve and Loki present had helped. Steve, who had returned accompanied by Wanda and a wounded Vision, had looked worried and held his right hand. Loki had talked constantly, even more than usual, and Bucky knew that his friend had sensed him being upset, and tried to distract him. It had _mostly_ worked, but now he was standing in a room that resembled a large locker room and was getting ready for a fight. Another battle, another war. He was tired of fighting, yet it was his job, his purpose, and he had not doubt, not even for a second, that it was the right thing to do.

Loki sat next to him on a bench and got into his tight leather boots. Both were silent, mentally preparing for something unknown.

“Can you tell me anything about his plan?” He asked.

Loki looked up.

“He wants to get his hands on the infinity stones. When he has all of them together, he can do anything he wants. It’s the most powerful weapon in the universe, and I fear that he will erase most of the living beings if we let him win.”

“Then we don’t.”

“It will not be that easy. The space stone, the Tesseract is here with me, Shuri locked it into a vault she is certain can’t be opened by Thanos or his henchmen. Vision and Wanda Maximoff have arrived with Steve’s help, and the mind stone is part of him. The wizard from New York arrived today with Tony, along with his friends and the time stone. This is not good, Bucky, three of six stones are here in Wakanda when we should be taking them as far away as possible. I understand that this way we lure Thanos, that we force him to attack here and nowhere else, but still...,” Loki said, getting up and grabbing the top of his armor from the bench. Bucky looked at his pale body and noticed an array of scars on Loki’s arms, looking like a complex design of small branches. On his lower stomach were also little white vertical lines. He had never seen something like the scars on Loki’s arm, but those on his belly almost looked like..., but now he understood why Loki always hid every possible piece of skin from other’s eyes. He did not want them to see those scars.

Loki noticed him watching and blushed a little, getting quickly into his top and closing it on the side.

“Are they from Thanos’ torture?” Bucky asked.

Loki shook his head no.

“They are...it’s complicated. Maybe I will be able to tell you one day.”

“I’m here when you want to talk, you know that.”

“I know, James. I appreciate it.”

Loki gave Bucky’s shoulder a little squeeze and hooked his cape to the armor, making Bucky’s eyebrows rise.

“No capes!” He mocked Edna Mode’s voice, which he could surprisingly well after having watched The Incredibles only a few days ago, and made Loki chuckle. “You’re such a fashion victim. How is that useful?”

“It’s not. But I honor my mother with it,” Loki explained, showing the inside of the cape that was a bright yellow. “It was my mother’s color.”

“A tribute,” Bucky stated and Loki nodded.

“We honor our dead this way. With something that resembles a memory of them.”

“Like I was wearing your hair woven into mine when you tricked me into thinking you were dead,” Thor said with a grumpy tone, having entered the room unnoticed.

Loki’s back grew stiff and the last bit of relaxation went away.

“I never meant for you to mourn me.”

“More lies,” Thor said, already in his armor.

“I am…”

“Leave it, Loki. He’s not worth it.” Bucky said to his friend.

“This is not the right time to be fighting with each other,” Loki said. “We need to work together. We only have a small chance to defeat Thanos, we will have even less of a chance when if we are not...a team.”

Thor glared at him.

“We have not been a team since we were children.”

“That is not true. We fought well together on Svartalfheim and we won. We fought well on Sakaar and on the Bifrost when we defeated Hela. We are fighting well and our powers compliment each other, Thor. You have to believe in us.”

Thor looked surprised at his brother and then only nodded.

“I do not trust you, Loki. Not anymore. Too many lies.”

“Thor. Trust me,” Loki almost begged and grabbed Thor’s arm, his slender fingers surrounding Thor’s bracers that still bore the symbol of Loki’s helmet.

Bucky and Thor both looked at the way Loki was holding his forearm in his hand, caressing the metal emblem on the bracers with fingertips.

“We fight together. As brothers,” Thor said. “And when we have won, we will talk.”

“If we win,” Loki whispered.

“No. _When_ we win.”

Thor tried to grin, but it looked forced and left quickly.

Bucky closed the straps on his jacket and sighed.

“You don’t think we'll make it?”

“I know it’s going to be a hard fight, with opponents none of us has ever fought against. We don’t know what to expect. There’s only a slight chance that we can do this.”

Bucky grinned.

"Earth's mightiest heroes,” He said. “And now Asgard’s too.”

Loki smiled helplessly and put his daggers into the sleeves of his armor, then he took his helmet and looked at the golden piece.

“What the hell, Loki?” Bucky laughed. “Are you trying to resemble a cow?”

Loki’s eyes went wide before he narrowed them.

“Giving me ridiculous nicknames already, Frosty?” He asked with a sly grin.

“That coming from the frost giant.”

The friends laughed and left the room, side by side.

 

 

They had met with a tall native man in furry clothing on the frontline, introduced by T’Challa to them as M’Baku and he suspiciously eyed Loki’s slight stature with a frown.

“What is pretty boy supposed to do? Charm the enemy?”

“Indeed,” Loki said.

Bucky tried to hide a laugh when his friend stepped forward, and with a small gesture of his hand, M’Baku’s spear changed into a hissing snake.

“My brother loves snakes,” Loki said, turned around and took his place between Steve and Bucky, who both could not hide a grin while M’baku stared at the stranger.

“Magic!” He laughed loudly. “That could be helpful. Though, I would like my spear back!”

Loki smiled and nodded. The warrior stomped his spear on the ground, as if to test it.

As one, they all took their positions and looked forward, into the direction of the invisible barrier. Thanos’ army attacked the shield again, making it sizzle. It had begun.

Thor charged Stormbreaker with cosmic energy.

Steve was wearing dual shields on his forearms.

Bucky carried a high-tech gun from Shuri’s workshop.

Loki let his daggers slide into his hands.

They were ready.

  


 

 

**PREVIEW TO THE UPCOMING PART 2**

_**FINDING FAMILY IN COLD PLACES** _

 

_Thor took in his surroundings before he took action._

_He saw Steve lying in the grass, face down with blood at the side of his head. Not moving, not breathing._

_He saw Bucky crawling, reaching out with his right hand for Steve, whispering something he could not hear over the noise of the battle, distress and pain on his face._

_He saw the female alien standing above Loki with her spear in her hands, withdrawing the tip from Loki’s body while his brother fell to his knees, holding his bleeding stomach. Thor gasped and stared at Loki who did not seem to even notice him. The alien laughed and spat at Loki, who now raised his head, showing a pale and sweaty face, but a smile was on his lips._

_“You made a mistake,” Loki said and lifted his right hand while the other still held his stomach, blood gushing out of him. “You should have gone for the head.”_

_With this, Loki’s hand glowed and the alien suddenly screamed in pain before she exploded into green dust, and Loki broke down._

_Tears welled up in Thor’s eyes._

_He had lost too much, too many._

_He turned and looked at the enemy._

_He looked at Thanos, and he let Stormbreaker fly._

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Remarks regarding Norse mythology for those interested:
> 
> Norns  
> Thor and Loki use these in this fic instead of “God,...”; Norns in Norse mythology are female deities who rule over destiny and fate, so they address these when they question what fate has done to them.
> 
> Sigyn  
> In Norse mythology she is Loki’s wife and a goddess of fidelity. Loki tricked her in mythology into marrying him after he saw her and decided he wanted her for himself. He took the appearance of her betrothed and unmasked himself only after they were married.


End file.
